nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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