I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
