well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
it glows. i had to have it.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
