omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize