If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
