we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
