question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
