I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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