Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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