yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Dicks are not precious.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
