She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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