so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize