You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
