i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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