This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
