you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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