That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
