we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
