Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
