You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
