hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
