She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
