i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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