You just made me feel so damn special
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
