Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
