If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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