I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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