He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
