thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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