i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
