With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
