And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She's the barista slut.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
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