I think I am morally bankrupt
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
