it's like russian roulette but with a penis
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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