Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
