There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
