id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
