and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
