so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
