He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The struggles of a small town man whore
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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