i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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