Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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