Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
