The maid of honor just puked.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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