dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
