We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
