Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
