smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
