My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
