Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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