Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
