he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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