After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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