I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I am available for nakedness
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