she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
