but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
