i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
