so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
