she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
