Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
