May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize