You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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