and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
